Karazy for Kate

I don't care that we post about how much we miss each other all time.  I have a hole guys...and it must be filled. It can only be filled by the infamous Kate.  I love Kate Franklin she is my best friend so I must constantly pay tribute to our friendship.  It is based on  love.  Watch this video and perhaps you may get a glance into the complex and intricate friendship of Kate n Kayla.
Warning: Tears may Occur....have some tissues at hand.

As school begins this song hits home....I am on my way home without my Kate.  How will I survive....I have no idea.  I might have to fill the hole of loneliness with an increased amount of Dr. Pepper and Taco Bell bean burritos.  I know this seems dramatic.....but think of your best friend as you watch the above video once again......I've listened to it four times now in the past ten minutes.....

A Diamond in the Morgue

Stop her!! She's eating her ancestors!

Yesterday I was visiting my favorite people in the world, the Carrolls. They are, truly, the most wonderful people on the whole planet. There's no need for a competition. They are the clear winners. And they taught me something new:

You can now have your dead body turned into a diamond.
http://www.lifegem.com/ (Proof)

Yes. You can have your ashes squished until BAM your hair, bones, old lady arms, cankles and all are turned into a diamond! I'm sure there's a more scientific way of putting it but...how scary is that? Imagine:

There you are, being all beautiful and wonderful and virginesque and what-not and your boyfriend gets down on one knee, proposes and gives you a beautiful ring and says

"This was my mother."
"Oh! This was your mother's?!"
"No. This diamond was my mother. We smashed her corpse and turned her into this diamond. And now you get to wear it forever and ever!"
"Gee Anderson (that's right. I'm marrying Anderson Cooper. Get over it.) I've always dreamed  of wearing your mother in the shower, when I'm sleeping and during our honeymoon. How ever did you know?!"

Ewwww.

Anderson's face when I explain why I don't want to wear his mother. Somehow the awkward confrontation has a very sexy result

And then, of course, came the inevitable conversation of what my mom, and Shonnie (her best friend and college roommate) wanted their funerals to be like. Judging by their elaborate plans, we are going to have to turn them both into diamonds and sell them just so we can afford the parties. Which is a shame because wouldn't it just be lovely to have a diamond bracelet made of all the people you love?

I now call them "My Little Diamonds". They don't appreciate it.

You could pass it down the family line and compare. Perhaps some diamonds will be bigger than others? Maybe some will be more sparkly, or tinted with pink or filled with traces of cocaine. I don't know. I'm not an expert on these things.

<3 Kate

Once Upon a Time.......

This Kayla not Kate....sadly.  Kate is fantastic at blogging I have no idea where her inspiration comes from, sometimes I hope it's me...hem hem.  Anyways I have come to tell you all a fantastic story filled with terror, tears, and tremendous exertion. 

Once upon a time there was an EFY counselor named let's say Kayler.  She loved her job greatly.  On June 27th a whirl of pain hit her.  However, this pain was not her own.  It belonged to a wonderful girl named a name that I will not write.  It is that sacred in the health history of EFY.  Not knowing that she was entering a never ending cycle of this pain Kayler willingly accommodated the ills and wills of this hypochondriac child.  The knights of this story were the helpful health counselors.  They are named Laurie the True and Eric the Brave aka "the man with the pills".  Here is a list of the ailments starting day one along with a small description.

Monday:

Migraine-understandable the first day always gives Kayler a migraine as well
Allergies-also understandable considering Kayler could relate with her own deathly allergies

You probably think I'm crazy right now...allergies and a migraine how bad could that be.....oh my friends the story continues.

Tuesday:

Cold-Apparently the allergies have progressed to cold which quickly progresses too......
Strep Throat-which kills according to a very reliable source so if you have allergies you most likely will develop a cold which then turns into a deathly case of strep.
Paper Cut- this quote "gruesome" malady occurred during banner prep.  Also the bleeding will not stop especially when you squeeze the finger to make sure blood will drip. 
P.S.-don't tell so called child they will have to cut off their finger they will believe you

P.P.S.-I was quite disturbed by how many people post pictures of their paper cuts on the internet.  This was very easy to find....

Wednesday:
Appendicitus: this occurred because another child had developed symptoms for this and was taken to the hospital.  Hearing this bad news Kayler's child automatically assumed she had concocted these symptoms as well.  She begged the knights in shining armor to take her to the hospital.  Luckily, they said no.
Sprained Ankle: Games Night requires a lot of physical exertion.  Kayler not knowing a different child had a heart problem watched in horror as one of her kiddies was taken away to Primaries.  Hypochondriac child watched as Larry (name has been changed) received rightful attention from Eric the Brave and Laurie the True before being taken away.  Sorry for the backup story but the next part links directly to this event.  Quickly Hypo asked Kayler why the Health Counselors were paying more attention to Larry then to her "sprained" ankle.  Not knowing how to respond Kayler walked away.

Thursday aka worst day ever:
Sprained Ankle cont...: Laurie the true came to the rescue.  Stared at the ankles and proclaimed them fine.
Nose Blowing and Pee and Throw Up: Spiritual settings almost always increase the need to blow your nose and pee.  Hypo bothered Kayler twice during morningside to go blow her nose.  And twice during YW Activity to go pee and throw up.  Kayler said no the first time which was quickly proceeded by crying for forty five minutes.  Kayler finally gave in.  About ready to pop her head off Kayler had to excuse herself so children would not be hurt. 
Walking Home:  The 1/2 mile walk home after testimony produced the biggest list of ailments ever....the sprained ankle returned along with the need to throw up.  plus her nose hurt....sigh.  Kayler told her to wait till they had crossed this bridge.

Friday:
Refusal:  Finally giving up Hypo laid in the bed saying she was too sick to move.  Kayler called the "man with the pills" (Eric).  He told her to tell Hypo that she would have to stay in bed if he came and saw her.  After hearing that Hypo became the healthiest person at EFY. 

And that my friends and foes is the story of Hypo and Kayler.  We will see if they live happily ever after...who knows what ailments may occur!

THE END

My Heart Will Go On....maaaaybe

   
      Kayla and I have been apart for...I don't know. A long time. I don't want to count the days because I havn't taken math since my sophomore year of high school and I'm always afraid that if I try to count too high I will realize that I have forgotten what order the numbers go in. I'd rather live in bliss and pretend that I am a genius.
   So it's been a while and it's kind of cool because every time we talk to each other we have SO MUCH to say. When we lived together we just said stuff like...how was your day? want to go to walmart? I hate boys. Let's get tacos. 

   Yup. Life in Logan was pretty exciting. But NOW Kayla is a counselor at a summer camp, where I'm sure she is so boss. I imagine that everyone is in love with her and people come back after the weekend with haircuts creepily similar to hers. That's what happens when you're as awesome as my KayKay. People love you. If you're wondering what it feels like to be so far away, it's much like this:

  
         I've been getting ready for my trip to England and I tell this to anyone who will listen. And in my opinion, I have every right to because if you're standing within earshot of me, it's probably by choice and you can run away any time you want to. Just know that I run 5-8 miles a day and if I really want to talk to you, I will.
        A lot of people don't like the England thing because I'm not going to be speaking a foreign language and they feel like it takes the adventure out of the trip. But it pretty much IS a foreign language! I know this because I have a British friend and when he talks I rarely understand what he's saying. But it sure does sound nice. And won't it be fun to live somewhere where I get along with everyone, regardless of what they're saying? I think yes. For example, my favorite word is Trollop. Doesn't that sound wonderful? Like a delicious candy, or the name of a pony, or maybe something that you do in the park on a Sunday afternoon. But it actually means "a woman of loose morals". So, who knows? maybe someone is doing a trollop in the park.

Here is an excellent example of what I think trolloping should look like:

 Mmmmmm trollops.....

Bieber Fever

N'Sync, Backstreet Boys, Jesse McCartney, even Zac Effron.  These were the men I fell in love with as I grew up.  They were abtastic, breathtaking, and could sing to boot.  I mean look at this.....

Oh yes this is what I call a man.  So what is wrong with today's generation?  They picked a scrawny sixteen year old for their idol.  Justin Bieber.  Now I admit he can sing, but how is he hot?  I don't understand....it confuddles me.  I work with elementary school kids, and they love him.  They think he is the stars, moon, and sky.  Why?  I don't know why....

Crazy right?  Kate and I saw this last night on T.V. and I thought it was hilarious.  He is such a creeper.  "I'm going to sniff your neck because you smell like me!" Ummmm k that's cool, but why would I want to smell like a man?  Why didn't he make a cologne, girls would still buy it because they would think it smells like him.  They would spray it on their Justin Bieber pillows and smell his face as they drifted off to Bieberlicious dreams.  Wow...I mean wow....I have no words right now.  The world has gone crazy!  If you would like to know if you have gone crazy watch this video.

Bloom Bloom Bloom. I want you in my...garden

This is Kate. Not Kayla. I am nowhere near Kayla. She is far, far, far away. So far that if I had a walkie talkie and I tried talking to her on it, I wouldn't be able to. Even if it was one of those really good walkie talkies. Even if I stood on the highest hill and held the antenna up as far as my arm can reach. Which would put that walkie talkie at a whopping 6 feet off the ground.


But fear not! I have a plan to keep me and Kayla together forever. See that picture at the top? That is my plan. Next time I see Kayla I will PERMANENTLY ATTACH HER TO ME! You may say "Kate, that's silly, Kayla can just undo the braid", but there's no WAY that's happening! B/c I'm gonna do it behind her back so she won't even know what's happening. duuuh. She'll just think that it's magic. The same kind of magic that makes all her money disappear...

So this is what I've been doing:

Yeeeeah. I like my life. But almost as importantly,

THIS is what I've been doing! :

It's actually very fun and I've been doing it at my grandma's house, so I feel semi-helpful. And if this picture impresses you, then thank you and you may stop reading.
Otherwise, this isn't my garden, BUT mine hasn't actually started...growing yet. But it will! I just know it. And I have BIG plans for it when it does.

First, I will win Kayla back! She will come to my garden b/c I will have a garden tea party! Kayla loves tea parties. As long as the "tea" is water and there is cheese involved. I imagine she'll look like the picture below b/c Kayla also loves Tinkerbell.

 

I also plan on growing the most amazing garden ever, I picture myself like this:

This is the troll from "The Troll in Central Park". He is incredible, undeniably attractive and happens to have a very green thumb. He has been a hero of mine for years.
Once my garden is fantastic, I assume that no one will be able to resist it, including....

Unicorns! 

The best animals ever.

And if you're not convinced, I'll have you know that I also purchased some magical seeds from a very reliable salesman and he told me that it will become an Easter Egg Tree! Old man included.

 

I will also be needing a boy to do this to me:

Preferably one with a cooler hairdo who does not wear khaki pants. At least not in the garden. That's just not practical.

So, if you would like to come to my garden party, you are welcome to it! As soon as these flowers start growing...

Outside Looking In

I am a big fan of glee.  They know how to touch people maybe not as much as of late, but they get their point across.  Tonight they focused on a problem that I and everyone else try not to acknowledge.  We can never see the good without recognizing the bad within ourselves.  I think a lot of people think that by countering any good with bad they won't feel bad when they get rejected.  They already know what the other person will say so it doesn't hurt as much.  Of course I had a bunch of negative thoughts about myself running through my head as I watced this show. 
For example, I'm obsessed with cheese and I'm pretty sure it's making my big butt even bigger.  I have many a time stared at the cheese of the month club and wanted to join.  However, knowing the consequences I avoid this urge like the plague. 
I also have a strange anxiety problem with earthquakes, blood, and spit. 

Any of these things can send me down the path of no return.  Lastly, I think I am super absent-minded.  Half the time people don't know what I am saying.  I tend to follow random paths in my head and then spit out whatever sounds interesting to me.  I have had many a glare and gawk as I ramble on about why Jelly Bellies always put the red ones in the bag.  Clearly only I like the red ones so why do they put them in there?  This can come from a conversation about a hot boy to what I did in school that day.  Lastly, I sing loud and proud.  It's my favorite thing to do even though I think I can't hold a tune :)
Now before I send all the men running away at break neck speed with my anxiety, forgetfullness, and loudness I should state a few positive things about myself.  I can read a biiiiiiiggg book in a day even if I don't like it.  That should get me an intelligent man right?  I love to listen.  Yes, Kate I sometimes get distracted, but I love to hear people's stories.  Hmmmmm I have a strong testimony of the church.  I know that's so cliche, but I worked for that testimony so I'm proud of it.  Lastly, I work with kids.  I love the way they effect me.  They accept my absent mindness and random comments.  I fit right in and wouldn't have it any other way.  I think that's enough about me, but I want everyone who reads this to write a positive comment about themselves on this blog post.  Listen to this song for inspiration.  It might be sappy to the point of explosion but it's exactly what I'm trying to say.

Train of Thought

Science Test Tomorrow

                                          Study           Make Flash Cards           Read Book


                  Watch BBC               Watch Local News     

Still Don't Get It                                          


Watch Bill Nye..............ohhhhh


Hungry                     Hungry                   Hungry                    EAT                 Pee

                                                         STUDY

Watch YouTube                               Contemplate Joining Peace Corps                   Check blog          

              Check e-mail                    Check Facebook                  Check Yourself Out              

    Study                                                   Read Romance Novel                             Text                     

       Hungry           Hungry           Hungry              EAT                                      

Sit  Sit  Sit Sit  Sit                                         Glance at Page                        Sit                           

                                                              Give Up

                                                                         Write Blog Post      

Caterpillars of DOOM

 A happier time, when going outside was fun and wearing overalls was awesome.

I walked outside today and I saw THIS:

Caterpillars of Doom! You may say, "Silly Kate, those aren't caterpillars, that's just pollen". And to you I would say No. That's not pollen THOSE ARE CATERPILLARS OF DOOM!! Sorry to get all caps-lock on you, but you should have listened the first time. These things are everywhere. Okay, they're mostly just like, on trees and such but the trees are EVERYWHERE! I am worried.Two absolutely horrible things are going on at the same time: there is snow on the ground and doom in the trees. Now I know why couch potatoes are taking over this nation: Nature is terrifying! And also...America's Next Top Model has marathons like, everyday. It's not like you can just turn that off.

So today, I will be taking care of business. I have to destroy the caterpillars before they destroy me. I think Pink has the right idea, so I think I'll do something like this:

Other than that, Monday is pretty lovely. Partially because the government didn't shut down after all and partially because I took some very strong drugs. Just kidding. It's claratin. The worst it will do is "cause drowsiness". Psh, I'd like to see it try. It's got nothing on my 40 ounce diet coke.

Girl trying to commit suicide:

TAAAAAAAA DAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND THE WINNER IS AMY BECKERT!

She is one of our followers and a co-worker from work!

Her prize is a thousand......

JELLY BEANS

Plus a secret surprise that goes a long with it!

Thanks for everything :)

Pictures coming soon!



Thrilling Thousand

Today I discovered an amazing thing!  Our blog has gotten over 1,000 views!  We never thought we would be that popular, to be honest we made the blog to entertain ourselves!  To encourage even more views and followers I've decided to have a..........

GIVE AWAY!

I have seen these on a lot of other blogs and I think it's a fantastic idea!

Here are the rules

1) Leave a comment and we will put your name in a jar

2) Become a follower and we will put your name in the jar twice

3) The drawing will take place a week from now on April 10th

Pretty simple right?

Also the prize is going to be pretty great!  Whatever it is there will be a thousand of it!  I'll keep you all updated when I pick the prize

Thanks so much for looking at our blog :)

Holi Festival!

  

Holi Festival!!

It's been three days since the Festival of Colors and my snot is still pink. I know that's not the most charming way to start a blog post, but it's on my mind! See, I have this fear that I'm gonna sneeze sometime in the near future and there will be this explosion of pink dust, and everyone will think I'm a freak! Which I am, but I don't want complete strangers knowing that right off the bat. So yes, I am worried.

But, more importantly, we (Me, Kayla and SJ) went to the Festival of Colors! I'm not sure what its actual significance is, but it's at an Indian temple so I'm sure there is some deep meaning. I really just wanted to be covered in chalk! And I was. Completely covered. And apparently I breathed in a lot of it too, but I digress...except to say that breathing it in wasn't that bad because it smelled delicious!

The festival was especially fun because you got to throw stuff at complete strangers and they LIKED it! Usually after I throw something at a stranger, I have to run away as fast as I can! But not on Saturday! People love to be pelted with pretty colored chalk. Keep that in mind, it could be handy in the future. 

Oh, and here's pictures of me and Kayla. We had a Mary-Kate and Ashley inspired photo shoot. And also...we really wanted to spin around in our skirts. They are just so fluffy.

I Would Like to Convert to Hawaiianism.

SO, I just returned from Hawaii and since I am on the verge of becoming incredibly depressed by the sight of snow and the fact that I'm gonna have to pack my flip flops away soon, I decided to reminisce. Now you may think that all people do in Hawaii is tan and swim and explore the perfection of the island, and eat pineapples and play in waterfalls and listen to ukulele players. And you're right! But I found that with the combination of paradise, beautiful people and tsunami evacuations, I have been taught some valuable lessons by the Hawaiian people. I'll share a few of these with you.

1. When snorkeling, the fish look nothing like they do in Spongebob.  You just have to deal with it.

2. You can always count on moms to have amazing words of wisdom: "It's not very likely that you're going to die. So make sure you do your homework."

3. When waiting out a tsunami, the best place to be is the mall parking lot. And if you bring some lawn chairs and your laptop, well you have yourself a party.

4. No matter what I do, my dad is always under the impression that I will die or be critically injured and magically disappear.

5. Watching snorkelers get in and out of the water can provide hours of entertainment.

6. Wear your sunscreen.

7. Don't stand under a coconut tree.Now, I didn't learn this from my own experience, but it seems like a bad idea.

  8. The harder the hike, the better the view:

 9. If you're going to sneak into a hotel pool, make sure your towel matches theirs.

10. No matter how classy a lady is, or how fancy the restaurant is, when you see a whale you must stand up, point and yell "WHAAAALE!" Everybody appreciates it and you will be the hero of the evening.

11. The best way to get a tan is slow and steady. And the best way to do that is to use banana boat tanning spray with 8 spf that blocks uva and uvb rays! No this is not a commercial, I just love the stuff.

12. Drinking beer in the ocean looks real classy.

13. A real man understands that beauty is pain. And a manly way to exfoliate is to skim board.

14. Ohana means family, family means forever.

Okay, so I stole that last one from Lilo and Stitch, but these really are some wonderful lessons that I will cherish forever!

Happy Hawaiiness

I am quite upset and happy and upset and happy and upset.  A combo of both contradictory emotions!  I am soo happy that Kate is in......Hawaii!!!!  I bet she is having well..... a blast! I am in Logan for Spring Break!  However I figure we are pretty much do the same things!  For example.....

Kate: Kissing a Dolphin!



Kayla: Hugging a Stuffed Animal

Kate: Learning how to Hula!!

Kayla: Spazzing in her room :)

Kate: Getting Sandy Legs

Kayla: Shaving my Legs

Kate: Watching a Sunset

Kayla: Watching it Snow

Soooo you see our vacations are not at all different.  In fact I would say they are quite similar.