A happier time, when going outside was fun and wearing overalls was awesome.
I walked outside today and I saw THIS:
Caterpillars of Doom! You may say, "Silly Kate, those aren't caterpillars, that's just pollen". And to you I would say No. That's not pollen THOSE ARE CATERPILLARS OF DOOM!! Sorry to get all caps-lock on you, but you should have listened the first time. These things are everywhere. Okay, they're mostly just like, on trees and such but the trees are EVERYWHERE! I am worried.Two absolutely horrible things are going on at the same time: there is snow on the ground and doom in the trees. Now I know why couch potatoes are taking over this nation: Nature is terrifying! And also...America's Next Top Model has marathons like, everyday. It's not like you can just turn that off.
So today, I will be taking care of business. I have to destroy the caterpillars before they destroy me. I think Pink has the right idea, so I think I'll do something like this:
Other than that, Monday is pretty lovely. Partially because the government didn't shut down after all and partially because I took some very strong drugs. Just kidding. It's claratin. The worst it will do is "cause drowsiness". Psh, I'd like to see it try. It's got nothing on my 40 ounce diet coke.
Girl trying to commit suicide:
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