A Diamond in the Morgue

Stop her!! She's eating her ancestors!

Yesterday I was visiting my favorite people in the world, the Carrolls. They are, truly, the most wonderful people on the whole planet. There's no need for a competition. They are the clear winners. And they taught me something new:

You can now have your dead body turned into a diamond.
http://www.lifegem.com/ (Proof)

Yes. You can have your ashes squished until BAM your hair, bones, old lady arms, cankles and all are turned into a diamond! I'm sure there's a more scientific way of putting it but...how scary is that? Imagine:

There you are, being all beautiful and wonderful and virginesque and what-not and your boyfriend gets down on one knee, proposes and gives you a beautiful ring and says

"This was my mother."
"Oh! This was your mother's?!"
"No. This diamond was my mother. We smashed her corpse and turned her into this diamond. And now you get to wear it forever and ever!"
"Gee Anderson (that's right. I'm marrying Anderson Cooper. Get over it.) I've always dreamed  of wearing your mother in the shower, when I'm sleeping and during our honeymoon. How ever did you know?!"

Ewwww.

Anderson's face when I explain why I don't want to wear his mother. Somehow the awkward confrontation has a very sexy result

And then, of course, came the inevitable conversation of what my mom, and Shonnie (her best friend and college roommate) wanted their funerals to be like. Judging by their elaborate plans, we are going to have to turn them both into diamonds and sell them just so we can afford the parties. Which is a shame because wouldn't it just be lovely to have a diamond bracelet made of all the people you love?

I now call them "My Little Diamonds". They don't appreciate it.

You could pass it down the family line and compare. Perhaps some diamonds will be bigger than others? Maybe some will be more sparkly, or tinted with pink or filled with traces of cocaine. I don't know. I'm not an expert on these things.

<3 Kate