I'm So Happy For You. Now go die.

Lately, I have been looking at Weheartit.com. It's just a collection of pictures and you pick your favorites and it saves them. At first I enjoyed looking at the pictures of happy couples, but then something snapped in me. And now Kayla and I will let them know EXACTLY how their lives will turn out.


 Aw. How sweet, she's wearing his shirt! And she bunched up the sleeves just so adorably. She'll continue to wear his clothes constantly. Then one day, he'll borrow her clothes. He'll decide that he really likes it. Slowly but surely he will begin dressing like a woman until he turns into a total transvestite that hits on people on the metro in NYC. His new name will be Tracy.
 She wants his cigarette so bad and won't stop reaching for it. In an effort to save his cancer causing stick he'll push her away. She'll get hit by a bus and die. He'll later say it was an accident, but we all know he just really didn't want to give up his last drag.
 He'll break up with her and let everyone know that it was his decision. Then she'll go off the deep end, punch her backup dancer, check in to rehab and lose her job. Oh wait. That already happened.
 She's hugging him goodbye because she's going to become a hot air baloonist. He can't come with her because he's allergic to latex. Unfortunately, an alien plucked her out of her baloon and took her to mars.
 This is so cute it makes me gag. Which is also how that girl will die. Gagging. On a spoon that she swallowed.
 He kidnapped her and she fell in love with him. She suffered from attachment-to-your-kidnapper disorder, until the police discovered them and she realized that she is one sick lady. And he has no penis.
 Clearly, this is not going to work out. He's just not in it for the long haul. Maybe she'll find a nice lesbian to love.
  Snow White sues him for rape and later becomes a die hard feminist with a deep hatred of apple pie and love of whistling. She pimps out the dwarves and lives the high life.
 This couple will stay together forever. That is because they remind me of Luna Lovegood and I like them. Never change kids.
 Yes. This is us. But there is nothing wrong with sharing your emotions. And quite frankly, I feel much better now.